It has started to snow
again. It's strange, but I am not surprised. It has been the usual in these
60 days of base camp, so why should it be different now? While the snowflakes
fall, my hope to leave tonight to try to climb Gasherbrum II vanishes. I was
ready again, I had enough courage to take off solo tonight towards the white
summit of this great mountain. It won't be possible. The snow erases any
footstep and for a solitary person, in the middle of bad weather and with the
entire mountain covered with soft snow, the possibilities of success are nil.
There is no one here who is trying again, so the decision is totally
personal. I think I have worked and suffered too much in this expeditions and
I am not going to take off into a desperate attack in the middle of the night,
assuming some risks, without a doubt, unmeasured for a summit of these
characteristics. The mountain has not given me those two days of good weather
that would have been enough.
I relax and I only think on
my return. I have a bittersweet sensation. On one hand, to have resisted to
the end, to have perseverated on the mountain, has let me take the summit of
Gasherbrum I, more difficult than its twin and that fills me with
satisfaction, especially because of the hard and fatal season. On the other
hand, I feel I have my backpack only half full, and that makes me sad. Maybe
I am demanding myself too much, but I feel that it had to be that way. Also,
the accident of our teammate has clouded the environment and my feelings.
There is no happiness, only the sensation that I have not wasted all this
time, that a summit justifies all the days of hard work on this moraine of
the Gasherbrum glacier.
It's time to go back, to see
family and friends, in fact, to be normal people far away from this hostile
environment that has made us brute to the limit. There is the road to life,
towards the green valleys and towards oxygen. Soon we will gain quality of
life again and we will feel like humans again. Gasherbrum II stays here and
so many other things. The lived experiences will go with us forever and, in a
moment, the will to come back to walk on these mountains will also return. It
is always this way. I will quietly rest for the moment, trying to see the
positive in all that happened, to continue dreaming with this world of beauty
and infinite heights.
Translated from Spanish by
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